Gliterous

The other night, I was reading to the kids before bed and Ronin was trying to wrestle with his sister as usual. I am not sure exactly what happened but Raven ended up howling in pain. The conversation that followed went something like this.

Raven: Dang it Ronin, you kicked my Penis.
Mom: Ronin, please say you are sorry and sit down.
Ronin: Sorry (he was not sincere)
Mom: Raven, please do not say that word. We do not talk about private parts and you do not have a penis. You are a girl.
Raven: Girls do have a penis inside their baginis. I saw mine. It is just little.

Let me just stop here and say that I followed the advice of parenting books with Raven and taught her all of the proper names for body parts. The books said that it would make serious talks down the road less uncomfortable and if it was no big deal to us, it would be no big deal to the children. There is just one problem, normal parenting styles do not apply to our family. Instead of making it easier, it has snowballed into an awful ordeal. Not only is she too comfortable talking about private parts, she made up her own nick name out of the words penis and vagina for her private parts. BAGINIS. It is horrible when she says it in public; people must think she is a hermapherdite and I did not do a good job of explaining the situation. I wish I would have gone with jayjay and weewee. You would think I would remember this when these conversations come up but I never do. Anyways back to the story.

Raven: I saw mine. It is just little.
Mom: Honey that is not a penis. Girls have a clitoris.
Raven: A Gliterous! Ha! That is a pretty name but it is not pretty at all.
I then rolled my eyes and went back to reading. When I told Gary later, he said that I was alone in answering all the calls I would be getting from Raven's classmate's parents. Sigh.